F*CK YOU PLANET EARTH

Jun 19

Problem solved

I’m gonna hook up an exercise-bike to the world’s modems. Download speed and volume or linked to your speed and distance respectively.

Boom, everyone gets in shape.

Why do I constantly create worlds in which I wouldn’t survive myself?

la-meilleure-amie:

Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I’m a jerk.

I said it before, I’ll say it again, I want to go to baby showers unannounced, dressed as Malificent and ask why I wasn’t invited.

(Source: meilleure--amie, via piercethepoop)

[video]

therighttoloseyourmind:

thegoddamazon:

pussymitosis:

jellyrolland:

OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED

OH MY GOD YES

Jesus walks.

LAWD JESUSS THANK YOU

funfact: if you dip the caprison in liquid nitrogen, then drink it while it melts again, it’s twice as delicious :D

therighttoloseyourmind:

thegoddamazon:

pussymitosis:

jellyrolland:

OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED

OH MY GOD YES

Jesus walks.

LAWD JESUSS THANK YOU

funfact: if you dip the caprison in liquid nitrogen, then drink it while it melts again, it’s twice as delicious :D

(via esotericalesbians)

omako:

is this attack on titan?

in a nutshell, yes :D

omako:

is this attack on titan?

in a nutshell, yes :D

(Source: k-onfanclubfags)

shady-brain-farm:

I like how on Tumblr we all have lots of sass but in real life we can’t say hi without fucking up.

(via kokotan)

Should I change my blog title to something…less offensive?

I can’t help but read this in my head as ” I hates myselfs”

I can’t help but read this in my head as ” I hates myselfs”

(Source: the-five-beer-plan, via frankiechemical)

pokemon-personalities:

honestly i really wish i had a friend like james. he’s a really kind person and despite being a member of an evil organization, he cares deeply for the pokemon and people he befriends. plus he’s got a killer laugh, a good sense of humor, and mad style.

image

True,  I think it’s nice that he and Jesse get together :)

(via sassura)

kokotan:

fuckyouplanetearth:

kokotan:

fuckyouplanetearth:

kokotan:

Ah… They’re sitting together eating pudding… that’s so cute
Some one a talk show and eat pudding with me. I don’t even like pudding.

I hated pudding until i went to england and tasted their weirdly named desserts. 

I haven’t liked pudding since a blindfolded pudding eating contest went wrong.

That’s how bananas got ruined for me

lol Looks like blindfolded eating contests are traumatizing events! 

just the ones where they whisper “open wide (◕‿◕✿)~♪ “